The Cat Who Hugs

I want to tell you an absolutely true story that won't make you cry and involves some magic. This is part of a longer story, that, sadly, involved a lot of tears and me doing my Nurse Ratched imitation, but this is, by far, the most interesting part.

This is not a fairy tale, although it begins like one.  Once upon a time, (January, actually) there was a woman who needed a cat.  Some people who loved her found her a little cat who had come to a shelter from a hoarding situation.  There were 28 cats in that house.  Some of the cats were sick and some were injured.  This cat, in fact, had suffered a punctured eye at some point and had scar tissue covering most of the eye.  And yet, with all of this, this was a sweet, loving little creature who could be held and petted and kissed.  She didn't have a name yet, was terrified to the point of paralysis and had just moved into her new home when the woman made a mistake.  She left the door open long enough for the sweet little cat to bolt out into the darkness of downtown Ithaca.

Here comes the story: 

We heard of her escape the next morning and dashed into town to begin searching. We split up at first, each doing separate "Here kitty, kitty, kitty's" and peering under anything big enough to hide a small, frightened cat. Often I would hear an answering meow and would try to track it, just to lose it in a morass of construction materials and plastic kid's stuff that had been left in a backyard.  I was wearing my pink "pussy" hat and Carolyn was wearing her "Rise Up Ithaca" hat, which might be the reason that one old guy was pretty nasty when we knocked on his door.  In the midst of crawling under porches I met a rather round tuxedo cat who was the source of the answering meows.  I would "Here kitty, kitty, kitty", and he would answer, "Yes?  You called?".  He began walking with us as we searched, chatting all the while.  As we were knocking on all of the doors in the neighborhood, asking for people to keep an eye out for her, we met the woman to whom the tuxedo cat belonged.  She told us that his name was Wilson.

We searched all of the garages that were open, put up signs and talked to many people who lived around that block.  Most of them were wonderful and one woman offered one of her own cats if we never found the one we had lost! I left my phone number with everyone.  And I chatted with Wilson.

We had been home an hour or two when I got a call that she had been sighted, so I dashed back to the neighborhood and searched with Jeremy, who had heard a distressed kitty cry right outside his house.  More searching, now with flashlights.  Wilson accompanied me for much of this.  Finally, I told him, "Look Wilson, I know that you can find her much better than we can. Please please please find her and bring her home.  The woman in that house, (and I pointed it out) "really needs this kitty home.  And the kitty needs to be there.  She's going to die out here in the cold.  Please Wilson, please bring her home."  I was sobbing by this time.

I left, feeling pretty discouraged.  

Moving into a hug with Carolyn

The next morning, the first thing I saw was a text.  It said that at midnight, our friend heard meowing at her front door, and when she  opened the door, in scooted her cat.  She said that a "big black cat" had cornered the cat on her front stoop.  WILSON to the rescue!  And when we got there to make sure that everything was okay, we leaned something new about this frightened, hiding cat.  

She hugs.  She puts those soft little white paws around your neck and moves in to snuggle.  And so, she got a name.  

Hugger.

I thanked Wilson for saving the day.  He asked me to leave food out on the stoop sometimes.  I said that it was a deal.

Whose Reality?

We--the dogs and I--are sitting in a lobby at the hospital, waiting for Carolyn to sign into the pain clinic.  Zuza is tucked in my jacket and Lukas has been sitting in the chair next to me. A man, accompanied by a nurse and a family member, was wheeled past. He was elderly and trembling and sat tall in the chair. The women were talking to him, obviously not getting the responses they were looking for.

"Well why don't you look at the cute little dog over there?" says Family Member.  They wheel him around, repeating the question, and come closer. He sweeps the room with his gaze, not slowing or registering anything. "Why would I look? How do I know what I'm seeing?", he asks.  
"Because they're so cute!", answers Family Member.
He shakes his head in disgust. "How do I distinguish what I'm really seeing?", he asks again.  I asked him if it would help if he touched them.  He shook his head and began to ask the same question again. the nurse said, "Your medication is wearing off, so you can--", he cut her off and started to ask again, obviously frustrated. They had turned to leave. The nurse came around to the front of his chair and crouched to be at eye level.  "I can't give you the answer that you're looking for.  I'm sorry".  She repeats this, and I feel that it is the most honest response he has gotten recently, and they move away, down the hall and around the corner.

It's like dipping momentarily into someone else's reality.  For Family Member, the dog's cuteness, like a kitten video, gives some solidity to the reality she is living, whether she likes it or not.  The Nurse seems to understand the Man's confusion, but can't sort it out for him, and my dogs and I are equally unable to penetrate his confusion.  I wonder what, and who he is seeing. I have dealt with three humans in the last two days who are completely untouched by my reality and the time sequences it follows.  I feel a little adrift, holding on to Zuza and Lukas like tiny life-jackets.  The Man used the word "distinguish".  He wasn't babbling gibberish; he had real concerns, real questions.  What was he seeing, and who?  And what does this say about my own reality?  The political landscape has become something similar to Alice's world seen through the Looking Glass.  Maybe that's where we are living now, on the other side of a Looking Glass, in a world unrecognizable.

And yet, I am anchored by my love for these innocents.

Tonight, hours later as I write this, my dogs have put themselves to bed without us.  Carolyn is sleeping in the chair after a hard Jubilee (chorus) rehearsal, and the Kittens are skulking like vultures, hoping that I will give them more food before Carolyn and I join the dogs,  (They know I will.  There is nothing better than being the cat who lives with an eating disordered female.)  Good Mama that I am, I will tuck us all into our respective beds, feed the fire, and do a last check of all of the doors before I succumb to the night.

I wish you all the sweet night of innocents, sleeping gently all around you.